Are Men Happier

Why Men are Never Depressed

Men are just happier people!

“Why?” you may well ask.  Well, amongst many other things:

  • your last name stays put;
  • the garage is all yours;
  • wedding plans just magically take care of themselves;
  • chocolate is just another snack;
  • you can never fall pregnant;
  • car mechanics tell you the truth;
  • the world is your urinal;
  • you don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt;
  • same work, more pay;
  • wrinkles actually add character (well, that’s what guys convince themselves of, anyway);
  • people never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them;
  • new shoes don’t cut, blister or mangle your feet;
  • you have one mood all (OK, well, most of) the time;
  • phone conversations are generally over in 30 seconds flat;
  • you know stuff about tanks, guns, space shuttles and petrol engines;
  • a 5 day holiday requires only one suitcase ……………  and a small one at that!;
  • you can open all your own jars;
  • you get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness;
  • your underwear is $9.50 for a 3-pack ……………  before they go out on special!;
  • your underwear doesn’t always have to be changed daily!;
  • your moisturiser is the same product as hers (though in different packaging) …………… but only costs one quarter of the price!;
  • 3 pairs of shoes are more than enough;
  • you never have ‘strap’ problems in public;
  • you are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes;
  • everything on your face stays its original colour;
  • the same hairstyle lasts for years ……………  and, in the case of some of my Italian mates from school, maybe for decades;
  • you only have to shave your face and neck;
  • you can get away with playing with toys all your life;
  • you have 1 wallet and 1 pair of shoes –  in 1 colour for all seasons;
  • you can wear shorts no matter how your legs look;
  • you can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife;
  • you have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache; and
  • you can do Christmas shopping for 24 relatives on the 24th December in 24 minutes ……………  or less!

No wonder men are happier!

Peter Kerin